IYKE

Oh friend it’s time we deconstructed all society and church instructed

That  which I am telling you ought not be a reason for rebelling

Nor see being with a women as a ill omen

Be cautious, some of them can leave you nauseous

A lady is no angel be aware of the fable

Promiscuity is a thing of antiquity is essential for tranquility.

 

All am about to share with you is not for you to resent women, it is however to help you manage the frustration of being the nice guy who ends up coming last. The same things were told to me growing up as a child in church. However outside the church walls I quickly realised somethings were not practical, it was all but a role play. One such thing is virginity, I was told countless times to keep myself for my wife and it was mostly repeated by aunt. As a result I day dreamed of meeting my wife, I even dreamt of riding my motorbike with my wife pillion riding.

The dream was sold to me and I ran with it but as a teenager I knew the dream was flawed. Women are human just as us males, they are no angels and it is unfair to expect them not to make mistakes. The way that fantasy was sold  is as though women have no agency, always in a perpetual infantile state. Women are not kids but adult females and as such ought to be respected and held accountable. The first thing to realise is that you can’t own a woman, she is not your property especially in this age, so don’t get wrapped up in that ideology.

I know they made it sound as though choosing to wait till marriage to have sex qualifies you for a woman, well I am glad to disappoint you with the truth to set you free from that lie. Your abstinence only qualifies  you as a sexually disciplined person, unlike most who were sexually active as teenagers, you will notice you are more able to repress the thirst and also you won’t be a baby father or catch any stupid STIs. Essentially you will be more sexually responsible. As far as getting first round pick on a lady you like, boy the competition is stiff and you will have to compete for her attention just as every other men, too bad for you, you have less tools to work it as far as approaching a woman.

There is no such as match made in heaven (Matt22:30), another lie to debunk, matches are made here on earth and contrary to all that holy matrimony crap preached in church, after you marry her,you  will still have to compete with every man she’s ever loved before marrying you. let this serve as a reminder, ” I love the man I married but I did not marry the man I loved”. Anyone who’s had sex with her before given the time and opportunity can hump her again. That is just the bitter truth, woman give sex based on love and marry based on qualifications, you are just the guy who had to put a ring on it to receive her love, others did not have to buy a ring. This why you take her away from her home church to your church and away from the state where she went to school. It is ncloseot a sign of insecurity on your part but rather you reducing the chances of her being in  proximity as the men whom she can easily hump again.

A lady friend once told me that she will die before she admits to her man she cheated on him, and I do not stand in judgment against her, she is a lady and she knows how men react to that (Proverbs 6:34-35). Sex is not sacred, the last time that crap was sacred, Eve was flirting with the serpent and possibly humping the serpent too while her husband was working out in the fields. Sex is a bodily function not different from sleeping, animals do it and yet we love to pretend when we humans do it, it is sacred. The only thing special about sex is your wife giving birth to your own children.

That same girl you are crushing on, 5000 other guys are crushing on her, the liberating truth is when you find out some ladies love you so much but somehow you can’t get yourself to love them back, so never get mad at a woman who does not reciprocate your advances, there are some women who like you the same and you ignore them, nonetheless a lady only gets one chance, if for any reason she comes back as a result of being left, she does not get to be your first choice and let her know it, it is called accountability. Attraction is just a biological, it has little to do with heaven’s match making. Realise this, someone was having sex with her before you married her and she is with you only because that bugger would not put a ring on it. As a guy who has believed in waiting till marriage I know you have the false sense of righteousness, like you are better than those who started having sex early, no you are not. More than likely your wife was dumped by one of those guys.

Another thing to note is, to not fool yourself by thinking you are noble for being the guy who love her enough to put a ring on it, it is not that way. You are most likely putting a ring on it because you are lazy to talk to other women, never marry the first woman who professes to love you. All women after having their fun come to church to seek out men foolish enough to keep themselves. She has explored her sexuality and you have not , do you know I know  a number of female friends who still have sex with their former partners just because the church guy they have has no experience nor is he willing to learn in bed. The height of hypocrisy I witnessed in church was when they told a mate he could not have sex with a single mom he loves until he marries her. What an insult, how did she make the kid ? Premarital sex is just as important just as premarital spending. Ironically churches are not against the latter but frown at the former, if you don’t hump her, her baby daddy who is not ready to marry her will. A woman seeks your validation by your readiness to hump her, if she is not signalling she wants you sexually, she is only using you as a meal ticket cut it off, church or not.

Sex is transactional, you need to realise that every woman at one point has had sex for love, money and attention. The frequency of which one they done more says a lot about them. A woman who mostly give sex for love is capable of still bonding, the one who gives sex mostly for money is incapable of respecting your manhood, the one who gives sex mostly for attention, you should never commit to. Marriage is more than just you getting to have sex,  it is bigger than that. Waiting on marriage to have sex is a disservice to you, because you are getting into a contract as a beggar, you are blinded by urges. You should marry with objectivity, goals of a family, how you want your kids to be raised and the mom who will assist you with that, not to get to have sex. “I married my wife so I can finally blow my load on a woman’s tits”, it sounds stupid no woman in her right mind frame will respect you.

“Give unto Ceasar what is Caesar, to God what is God’s” on the marriage certificate the emblem of the state is overtly heading the document and the presiding priest/pastor always says by the power vested in me by the state of _____. That alone should tell you that God has little to do with the wedding ritual of our time. They make you say  “Till death do us part” but made it possible for both parties to get a divorce. I’m not saying God hates marriage, all I’m trying to say is God will intervene in a marriage only if he is invited in that marriage, marriage by itself is not governed by God or christian morals any longer.

Let’s assume you met a woman in church today and somehow you are attracted to her, don’t ever let her play mind tricks on you, in that she tries to use Jesus as an excuse. If you are going to marry her, date her, let her prove her worth just as much you have to prove your worth to her. The church usually acts as a support system for a woman, even if they know she is not the best option for you, they will do everything in their power to make sure you end up with her. Not by merits of her being virtuous as described by King Solomon in Proverbs 33 but as of her being a worker in church and serving her pastor. Those are not marriage qualities, you can’t expect a woman to marry you just because you  play the guitar in church and yet you are jobless. You have to spend time with her, just as those guy who did not marry her did in the past, hopefully she has made amends to prove herself worthy of a ring. In addition you must have sex with her, I don’t care what your pastor says, the only time you wait is if she is truly a virgin. You give honor only to those the honor is due.

All women out there having sex outside marriage are choir members in one church or the other, and being that sex does not count in our time anymore, close your ears to the cries of “I’m not letting you have sex until you marry me”, women say this to negotiate their credibility, they innately know men are hardwired to resent loose women: that is just a role play. In my opinion I would even like it that you don’t marry her until you knock her up. The reason is because I know of  lady who after 2 abortions gave her life to christ and after old things are past away married a church guy just to found out the abortion procedures complicated her ability to have kids, now the brother is trying to use faith to have kids with some woman who was careless with her body, While the man she did the abortion for is with his own kids by another woman.

A bald man who gave his life to christ yesterday still would be bald today, scra are old and things of the past but they remain. If she is not a virgin you have every right to test the conditions it was left in before commiting, don’t be fooled in the name of Jesus. Born again or not if Jesus  was to born today God will still find a virgin. This is not to judge anyone, it is simply a call to look out for your own interest, marriage is a one time transaction, she has already verified you and have pastors and deacons check your stats, but the question is who is doing any investigative work for you to confirm you are not being cheated. Jesus said ” many shall say to me Lord we did all this in your name and I will reply depart from me” just because they claim Jesus does not mean they are a disciple.

Jesus told a story of 10 virgins being turned down for being irresponsible. Marriage is all about merits, it is not based on how much you serve your church as most church girls reason nowadays. Just as you have your standards and requirements, you have to respect and live up to her standards and requirements, that’s called respect and accountability. If any lady expects from you the world but thinks all she has to do is lead praise and worship in church to be a marriageable, walk away bad deal.