Having the child sometimes doesn’t necessarily mean saving the child.
State of Affairs : SMP
“God made humans upright, but we have sought after other devices” Eccle 7:29. There exist a social contract that is universally honoured by almost all ethnicity on earth: marriage that is. In recent times the dynamics has morphed a lot. Once in history a woman’s chastity was priced above all else and the reason for this is quite simple, women are essential for populating society and equally men genetically are predisposed to resent taking care of another man’s offspring. The negotiation goes, a man marries a woman while she was still youthful and also as a virgin, this serves to ensure that whatever baby she would carry will be for the man who has married her, and in turn the man will take care of the lady long after her youth is spent. This whole process was supervised by the parents of the both parties, and so important was chastity that some women were ostracized for not being virgins at the moment of marriage. Likewise adultery was frowned upon and was punishable by death.
Humans are primates and like many other mammals, the males are territorial and tend to exhibit harem tendencies. Male mammals tend to kill other males that mate with their partners and even more mundane is what lions do to lionesses to get them back to ovulate, the new alpha male of the pride murders all the cubs. It is really simple to a woman it really does not matter, all her kids whether by one man or different men are hers but the man has no way to confirm his fatherhood. Not until the advent of DNA testing, men have never been able to test their offspring’s paternity, and in our time it is really a relieve, considering the age we are in the age of women’s sexual liberation.
Times has changed and the one who fails to evolve surely will find his/herself in tears. There are truths that are presently being ignored but nonetheless people are paying the consequences of the ignorance thereof. Of all Walt Disney animations, there is only one that has portrayed relationship for what it really is, “Frozen”; the lot of the rest are bollocks and these animation keep condition young minds to believe a fantasy. High school love is a joke, personally I never dabbled in that, in my opinion teens claim love as a means to absolve themselves of the guilt of sex. Unlike other drugs, sex is not regulated, and the underdeveloped brains of teens get a massive hit of the euphoria and basically become dependent on love/sex, so they seek out relationships for a fix. Some along the way will learn to control the urge, while most will wind up never learning to discipline themselves, and as adults will lack self control, this is why you see some men with multiple baby-moms ( I call them serial baby-moms makers) and some women become single moms with multiple baby-daddies. You can’t crave what you have never tasted, ones the lid is off it will never be as new, my generation really can’t pretend to a sense of decency we do not practice.
Like all other animals we are ruled by our instincts, however humans unlike most animals have found a way to privatise this, we express most of our basal instincts indoors sex, pooping, sleeping and so on. The only thing other animals secretly do across the board is birthing. Reproduction anchors sex and it drives males crazy, and for the males juveniles the competition is rigged, always in the favour of the older established males, as juves they resent older men talking to ladies their age , all the while forgetting they are juveniles who have nothing to offer the young woman but their voracious sexual appetites. Likewise older ladies when they start to feel their biological clock ticking expect males their age to drool over them, they have also forgotten that what is natural is for males to seek youthful mates. Nature takes no prisoner, she is the executioner. Every young man and woman should realise that there are somethings that our civilisation can’t change and one of those things is biology, established males get the young girls, and for the yet to be married professional women, your degree does not get a man a hard on your youth does spend it wisely.
As juvenile males are at their sexual peak, and women reach theirs in their forties when they are not required by nature to birth anymore. Men as a result of their high libido seek to pair up more when they are younger, the bust of testosterone compels them. A man is readily prone to love and marry when he is younger and full of testosterone, marriage is a risky endeavor and it is a fact that men do stupid things when they are younger. All that changes as men age and pass the 30 mark, now they are more calculating and are less prone to propose to just any woman that empties their loins, they have developed tolerance to the love spell.
The game set up by nature is all about reproduction and the driver is a youthful woman. A woman’s youth is nature most priced possession, even God required young Mary to bear his only begotten son. Humans have only added the elements of politics and legalities to the art of pairing and called it marriage. The sole purpose is reproduction and nurturing. Women are more sexual in their late 30s and 40s and men are usually around that age losing virility, giving rise to the cougar revolution, some cougars who can’t get their male age mates to date them now have younger guys marrying them (anything to drain his loins), that testosterone induced decision making but soo enough Ashton will leave Moore. It is a bad card nature has dealt us and some seek philosphy to cope, while some use religious moral to cope, all are just trying to manage what seems unfair, Life’s rat race. No matter what stand anyone takes, it is always good to note no one can cheat or beat biology at this game. Therefore as a woman who aspires to have kids, marry early and a man who seeks a youthful woman develop yourself (make money and a name for yourself), nature always requires a sacrifice, how much does it really mean to you.
References
Ecclesiates
https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=3051
IYKE
Oh friend it’s time we deconstructed all society and church instructed
That which I am telling you ought not be a reason for rebelling
Nor see being with a women as a ill omen
Be cautious, some of them can leave you nauseous
A lady is no angel be aware of the fable
Promiscuity is a thing of antiquity is essential for tranquility.
All am about to share with you is not for you to resent women, it is however to help you manage the frustration of being the nice guy who ends up coming last. The same things were told to me growing up as a child in church. However outside the church walls I quickly realised somethings were not practical, it was all but a role play. One such thing is virginity, I was told countless times to keep myself for my wife and it was mostly repeated by aunt. As a result I day dreamed of meeting my wife, I even dreamt of riding my motorbike with my wife pillion riding.
The dream was sold to me and I ran with it but as a teenager I knew the dream was flawed. Women are human just as us males, they are no angels and it is unfair to expect them not to make mistakes. The way that fantasy was sold is as though women have no agency, always in a perpetual infantile state. Women are not kids but adult females and as such ought to be respected and held accountable. The first thing to realise is that you can’t own a woman, she is not your property especially in this age, so don’t get wrapped up in that ideology.
I know they made it sound as though choosing to wait till marriage to have sex qualifies you for a woman, well I am glad to disappoint you with the truth to set you free from that lie. Your abstinence only qualifies you as a sexually disciplined person, unlike most who were sexually active as teenagers, you will notice you are more able to repress the thirst and also you won’t be a baby father or catch any stupid STIs. Essentially you will be more sexually responsible. As far as getting first round pick on a lady you like, boy the competition is stiff and you will have to compete for her attention just as every other men, too bad for you, you have less tools to work it as far as approaching a woman.
There is no such as match made in heaven (Matt22:30), another lie to debunk, matches are made here on earth and contrary to all that holy matrimony crap preached in church, after you marry her,you will still have to compete with every man she’s ever loved before marrying you. let this serve as a reminder, ” I love the man I married but I did not marry the man I loved”. Anyone who’s had sex with her before given the time and opportunity can hump her again. That is just the bitter truth, woman give sex based on love and marry based on qualifications, you are just the guy who had to put a ring on it to receive her love, others did not have to buy a ring. This why you take her away from her home church to your church and away from the state where she went to school. It is ncloseot a sign of insecurity on your part but rather you reducing the chances of her being in proximity as the men whom she can easily hump again.
A lady friend once told me that she will die before she admits to her man she cheated on him, and I do not stand in judgment against her, she is a lady and she knows how men react to that (Proverbs 6:34-35). Sex is not sacred, the last time that crap was sacred, Eve was flirting with the serpent and possibly humping the serpent too while her husband was working out in the fields. Sex is a bodily function not different from sleeping, animals do it and yet we love to pretend when we humans do it, it is sacred. The only thing special about sex is your wife giving birth to your own children.
That same girl you are crushing on, 5000 other guys are crushing on her, the liberating truth is when you find out some ladies love you so much but somehow you can’t get yourself to love them back, so never get mad at a woman who does not reciprocate your advances, there are some women who like you the same and you ignore them, nonetheless a lady only gets one chance, if for any reason she comes back as a result of being left, she does not get to be your first choice and let her know it, it is called accountability. Attraction is just a biological, it has little to do with heaven’s match making. Realise this, someone was having sex with her before you married her and she is with you only because that bugger would not put a ring on it. As a guy who has believed in waiting till marriage I know you have the false sense of righteousness, like you are better than those who started having sex early, no you are not. More than likely your wife was dumped by one of those guys.
Another thing to note is, to not fool yourself by thinking you are noble for being the guy who love her enough to put a ring on it, it is not that way. You are most likely putting a ring on it because you are lazy to talk to other women, never marry the first woman who professes to love you. All women after having their fun come to church to seek out men foolish enough to keep themselves. She has explored her sexuality and you have not , do you know I know a number of female friends who still have sex with their former partners just because the church guy they have has no experience nor is he willing to learn in bed. The height of hypocrisy I witnessed in church was when they told a mate he could not have sex with a single mom he loves until he marries her. What an insult, how did she make the kid ? Premarital sex is just as important just as premarital spending. Ironically churches are not against the latter but frown at the former, if you don’t hump her, her baby daddy who is not ready to marry her will. A woman seeks your validation by your readiness to hump her, if she is not signalling she wants you sexually, she is only using you as a meal ticket cut it off, church or not.
Sex is transactional, you need to realise that every woman at one point has had sex for love, money and attention. The frequency of which one they done more says a lot about them. A woman who mostly give sex for love is capable of still bonding, the one who gives sex mostly for money is incapable of respecting your manhood, the one who gives sex mostly for attention, you should never commit to. Marriage is more than just you getting to have sex, it is bigger than that. Waiting on marriage to have sex is a disservice to you, because you are getting into a contract as a beggar, you are blinded by urges. You should marry with objectivity, goals of a family, how you want your kids to be raised and the mom who will assist you with that, not to get to have sex. “I married my wife so I can finally blow my load on a woman’s tits”, it sounds stupid no woman in her right mind frame will respect you.
“Give unto Ceasar what is Caesar, to God what is God’s” on the marriage certificate the emblem of the state is overtly heading the document and the presiding priest/pastor always says by the power vested in me by the state of _____. That alone should tell you that God has little to do with the wedding ritual of our time. They make you say “Till death do us part” but made it possible for both parties to get a divorce. I’m not saying God hates marriage, all I’m trying to say is God will intervene in a marriage only if he is invited in that marriage, marriage by itself is not governed by God or christian morals any longer.
Let’s assume you met a woman in church today and somehow you are attracted to her, don’t ever let her play mind tricks on you, in that she tries to use Jesus as an excuse. If you are going to marry her, date her, let her prove her worth just as much you have to prove your worth to her. The church usually acts as a support system for a woman, even if they know she is not the best option for you, they will do everything in their power to make sure you end up with her. Not by merits of her being virtuous as described by King Solomon in Proverbs 33 but as of her being a worker in church and serving her pastor. Those are not marriage qualities, you can’t expect a woman to marry you just because you play the guitar in church and yet you are jobless. You have to spend time with her, just as those guy who did not marry her did in the past, hopefully she has made amends to prove herself worthy of a ring. In addition you must have sex with her, I don’t care what your pastor says, the only time you wait is if she is truly a virgin. You give honor only to those the honor is due.
All women out there having sex outside marriage are choir members in one church or the other, and being that sex does not count in our time anymore, close your ears to the cries of “I’m not letting you have sex until you marry me”, women say this to negotiate their credibility, they innately know men are hardwired to resent loose women: that is just a role play. In my opinion I would even like it that you don’t marry her until you knock her up. The reason is because I know of lady who after 2 abortions gave her life to christ and after old things are past away married a church guy just to found out the abortion procedures complicated her ability to have kids, now the brother is trying to use faith to have kids with some woman who was careless with her body, While the man she did the abortion for is with his own kids by another woman.
A bald man who gave his life to christ yesterday still would be bald today, scra are old and things of the past but they remain. If she is not a virgin you have every right to test the conditions it was left in before commiting, don’t be fooled in the name of Jesus. Born again or not if Jesus was to born today God will still find a virgin. This is not to judge anyone, it is simply a call to look out for your own interest, marriage is a one time transaction, she has already verified you and have pastors and deacons check your stats, but the question is who is doing any investigative work for you to confirm you are not being cheated. Jesus said ” many shall say to me Lord we did all this in your name and I will reply depart from me” just because they claim Jesus does not mean they are a disciple.
Jesus told a story of 10 virgins being turned down for being irresponsible. Marriage is all about merits, it is not based on how much you serve your church as most church girls reason nowadays. Just as you have your standards and requirements, you have to respect and live up to her standards and requirements, that’s called respect and accountability. If any lady expects from you the world but thinks all she has to do is lead praise and worship in church to be a marriageable, walk away bad deal.
renaissanceafricareimagined 